You don’t need ab workouts! Instead of doing real exercises to try and strengthen yourself the old-fashioned way, check out these 5, totally-viable, completely-not-ridiculous ways to replace them for good.

#5 No One Cares About Lean Abs in 2010.

What, you didn’t hear about it? Yeah, no one is really doing those ab workouts anymore, because no one really gives a crap about lean, nice abs. It’s all about belly flab nowadays — rockin’ that beer belly is the surest way to self-confidence and romantic success. Maybe we’ll bring back the lean, toned look one day, but for now, eat on!

#4 Your Body Will Conveniently Hide Fat For You.

Sure we were just chatting about beer bellies before, but really, they aren’t a big deal, because your body has this amazing system in place — when you eat too much and develop some fat, your body just shuffles that extra flab over to some hidden little area that no one can see, like on your back somewhere. You’ll never look big to anyone!

#3 Beaches? What Beaches?

Aren’t beaches all polluted and stuff now? And global warming is making summers all crazy and unpredictable? If you combine that with a few other factors (I’ll get back to you on what those are once I think of them), you’ll see that a nicely toned body thanks to a few ab workouts isn’t really necessary at the beach, as most of the world’s beaches are empty year-round.

#2 Buy One Of Those Electrode-Based Machines.

There’s a reason there are all those infomercials on TV selling those pulsating weird machines that you hook up to your abs. It’s because they work so wonderfully well! Just apply the gel, attach the electrodes, plug in the machine, turn it on, and watch the pounds loudly, automatically, magically melt away! I swear, it really…. works!

#1 Aren’t Diet Pills Just the Best?

Hey, diet pills have always worked, right? No one has ever gotten addicted to them, realized half of them are just sugar pills, or that the other half of them are wonderfully dangerous for your bodies and your health? Nah, no way! Pop those dangerous pills and bid “adieu” to those annoying crunches, right?

If, for whatever reason, you’re still stuck in the dark ages and actually want to do a great abs workout to get a lean, toned body the “old fashioned” way, Zuzana’s workout videos at Bodyrock.TV will take you through it in the best way possible.